An Island in Belize

For my 50th birthday, I rented an island in Belize.

That sentence tends to stop people, so let me tell you how it actually worked. I spent ten days in Belize with my sons. We started in the jungle. Then we had five days on the island, and a dozen friends came to share it with us. People rolled in and out over those ten days, and every one of them added something to the island in their own way. After the island, we finished at a beachfront villa.

Why spend a milestone birthday that way?

Because I'd rather do than have. I'd rather experience something than own something. That's the core of what I call E>T: Experiences over Things.

A milestone birthday is a natural moment to buy yourself something. A man turning 50 with some success behind him has plenty of options, and most of them come with a sales brochure. I wanted ten days with my sons and a stretch of time with the people who matter to me.

The island let a dozen people with full, busy lives step out of them at the same time and in the same place, and build those days together. A purchase gets used up. A shared experience keeps paying, because everyone who was there carries it with them.

What makes an experience a USE?

I call this a USE: a Unique Shared Experience. Each word does a job. Unique means something you haven't done a hundred times, so it actually registers. Shared means you do it with people you care about, so the memory belongs to all of you. Experience means you're there doing it, fully present, with the phone down.

The island is the big-ticket version, and I'm aware of that. I use it because it's vivid. The principle itself doesn't need a budget. It doesn't have to be expensive to be unique. Last year my wife and I did eight live-music weekends, most of them out of town, leaving Friday and coming home Sunday. A Friday off for a road trip to see a band you love counts. So does a weekend camping trip with your kids where the phones stay in the truck. What matters is that you planned it, you're doing it together, and nobody will forget it.

How do you start if your calendar is full of things?

Look back at the last year and count your Unique Shared Experiences. Then count the things you bought. The comparison tells you where your money and your time have been going.

Then put one on the calendar. Pick the people first, then the experience. Treat it with the same seriousness as a business trip, because it will pay you back for longer. If you want a way to weigh what an experience is worth against what a thing costs, start with Return on Joy.

Life is a gift. It's meant to be pursued, shared, and savored.

What's the last Unique Shared Experience you planned, and who was there?

~b